Feb 28, 2009

FUEL FOR LIVING - PART 7‏

FUEL FOR LIVING - PART 7‏

On the following day, they all went for shopping. Vidya picked up a walking stick for her father in law and a woollen pullover for her mother in law. Sindhuja wanted to watch ‘Escape to Madagascar – part two’ that was being screened in the theatres. Vidya wanted to head back home and finish off her house hold chores. At the end, Sindhuja and Anand convinced Vidya for the movie after promising her that he and Sindhuja would help in cleaning the house too.

“Buddy, are you really going to make me dry clothes and iron them?” asked Sindhu with eyes wide open while they waited to buy tickets. Vidya was buying candies for Sindhu and popcorn for herself.

“Of course not, that was just to make your mom agree for the movie!” said Anand and winked at Sindhuja.

They bought the tickets and took the seats with Vidya and Anand on either sides of Sindhuja. Sindhuja was totally engrossed in the movie and Anand was keeping her good company. Vidya could see Sindhuja holding onto Anand’s shirt to ask him questions. Anand would every time smile, make figures in the air and answer Sindhuja which would make her jump in joy. Vidya couldn’t help but wish that Sindhuja’s happiness prolonged for her lifetime.

The movie was funny and entertaining. It was a feel good movie, and as expected best suited for kids. Anand and Vidya had enjoyed the movie too. Sindhuja and Anand came out of the theatre shaking their hips and singing ‘He likes to move it, move it; she likes to move it move it; we like to move it, move it!”. Vidya had to tell them to calm down since people had started looking at them and smiling. Sindhuja wanted an ice cream and Anand fetched it for her.

Anand returned with two cones in his hand.

“I don’t want two!” said Sindhuja.

“This one is for you and this for your mom!” said Anand handing them the ice creams.

“I am not a kid Anand! I don’t eat ice creams!” said Vidya with a soft laugh.

“Just taste it!” said Anand and handed over the ice cream to Vidya.

Vidya licked it, and the taste of it, the creaminess in it melted her senses. She couldn’t help but continue to lick it all the way to her home. It was almost 8 by the time they reached home and got inside. Vidya made some ready made parathas and side dish, which all three of them ate. They decided to take rest before starting the cleaning part. Vidya lay on the couch while Anand stretched out on the floor with Sindhu sitting beside him. The carpet was warm enough.

The three of them chatted about the movie for a while; after which Vidya watched Sindhu get up and sit on Anand’s tummy to play some games. Anand and Sindhuja were totally engrossed in each other, laughing, teasing. In some time, Sindhu stretched out on Anand’s body. Anand cradled his arms around her and ran his hands over her hair. Sindhu was soon fast asleep. Anand turned his head towards Vidya and caught her looking lovingly at her daughter. He cast a questioning look at her to which Vidya replied with a content smile. She closed her eyes and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

------

An hour later when she woke up she found a blanket wrapped over her and the lights switched off. She went into her room and found Sindhu sleeping peacefully with the blanket over her and her doll placed next to her. Vidya tiptoed into the kitchen and found Anand cleaning the dishes with her apron wrapped around him.

“Anand! You could have woken me up!” Vidya said walking into the kitchen.

Anand replied calmly “No fellow with a heart would do it! You were so tired Vidya!”

“But still, let me do this.” She said reaching for the dishes.

“No madam, you will sit and talk while I wash the dishes, and then we can move on to the vacuum cleaner!” Anand said pushing her hand away.

“Oh, come on…”

“Nope, am not coming anywhere. Take a chair, sit and talk…” said Anand getting back to his work.

Vidya sighed and pulled out a chair and sat on it.

“Anand, it has been so long since I ate an ice cream or felt so child-like. You made me feel good, I felt young after a long time. Since Venkat passed away, I have been too busy trying to be a mother.” said Vidya with a sigh.

Anand just nodded. Looking at him, Vidya felt she was being heartless by letting him get so close to her, in spite of knowing that she might never be able to give him what he needs.

“Vidya, you need not feel guilty about anything that’s happening. If there’s any thing that makes me happy, it’s being around you and Sindhuja, taking care of you both and catering to your needs.” said Anand as if reading Vidya’s mind.

“Hmmm….Sometimes I feel an urge to go searching for Venkat. I just want to leave everyone behind to find my love and be with him. And sometimes I feel the world is such a nice place to live in, with so many people to love me. Why should I be sad at all?”

Vidya continued after a pause “And now your coming into my life has certainly spruced it up even more. When you are around, I don’t feel lonely, when you are around I feel safe. When you are around, I feel happy. But when I think of all the hurt I have given you, and realize what you have for me is true love, I can’t help but feel guilty.” She finished and looked at Anand.

“Vidya, I love you and that is never going to change. My love for you is unconditional and it gives me a strange peace even knowing that you might never return my love. All these years, although I couldn’t be happy with you, I was happy for you. All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy every single moment of your life. As for me, every moment with you and Sindhu is a unique gift that I shall cherish forever, no matter what. Loving you has become my fuel for living. You have no reasons to feel guilty.” said Anand honestly, wiping his hands on the apron.

Vidya still couldn’t bring herself to accept Anand’s presence in her life. “But I feel guilty about letting you get close to me and Sindhuja when knowing that possibly, I might never be able to act in response to your love.”

Anand came near Vidya, took her hands into his and with a warm smile uttered the following words, "While you are worried about what you may never be able to give me, let me tell you about the wonderful gifts you have given me till now. You have made me fall in love Vidya. It has been a fascinating journey from the day I had fallen in love with you. I have learnt a lot about myself and life from my love for you. Over the years, I have realized that, to be in love means not to be afraid of losing your loved one. You can be not afraid only when you don't expect anything from your loved one. When you don't expect anything from your loved one, you don't care what your loved one thinks of you. When you don't care what your loved one thinks of you, you are free to be yourself. And to be ‘yourself’ every single moment is a life in harmony. I have been living my life in harmony Vidya, thanks to you. And the least I ask of you is to allow me to make you happy, for the rest of your life." And with this, Anand hunched and placed a warm kiss on Vidya's forehead.

With tears brimming, Vidya looked at Anand with affection. Slowly, Vidya began to realize that she was becoming increasingly defenceless against this unfathomable love that Anand seemed to have for her.

“Hey it’s raining! Come…..Come…..let’s go and get drenched!” Anand said pulling Vidya out of her chair, and thoughts.

“Anand, are you crazy??!” said Vidya struggling to keep up with him.

He pulled her to the garden with her. They saw an old couple next door holding hands, strolling in their garden, getting drenched.

“Hey pal, enjoying the rain eh?” shouted Anand to them.

“Yes, it is lovely, isn’t it?” replied the man in an enthusiastic voice.

“You bet!” said Anand.

“Aren’t they too old for this?” Vidya whispered in Anand’s ears.

“From what I see, their hearts don’t seem to have wrinkles yet, dear!” replied Anand in a cheerful voice.

Vidya let the rain wash her over, she felt ecstatic. The first rain of the season always brings the purest of water, it is believed. Anand watched Vidya move in circles with her arms wide open, eyes half closed and a smile over her face. She held out her hand asking Anand to join her. He hesitated for a second before getting hold of her hand.
To be Continued............

No comments: