FUEL FOR LIVING - PART 6‏

Vidya handed over a cup of coffee to Anand and sat on the couch beside him.

Anand placed the cup on the table and looked at Vidya.
“Vidya, I owe you an explanation about what happened today afternoon. I have a justification for my action and I should say I am not ashamed of what I did. ” said Anand looking Vidya in the eyes.

Vidya continued to sip her coffee.

“Vidya, it was just an act of instinct. The happiness that radiated from your face urged me to look closely at you, to search in your eyes, the answers to the questions I have been asking myself for so long.”

Vidya now looked intently at Anand. She was listening, listening with all her heart and mind, not knowing where this was leading to.

“I have always loved you, loved you since the moment I set my eyes on you. I love you, I still love you Vidya.”

Vidya was shocked on hearing this and if there was any anxiety in her, she hid it well.

“All these years, it’s only your memories that has been with me, made me happy and helped me breathe.”

“Anand…” Vidya spoke up but Anand dismissed her with a wave of his hand and continued.

“Let me finish this Vidya. If there was anything in my life that I had longed for, it is you. But the moment I learned that you loved Venkat, I had to let you go, but I couldn’t let my love for you go. I couldn’t make myself love any other woman or think of anyone else as my wife. I just couldn’t. So, I led my life with only your memories as my partner, hopeful that you were happy with Venkat.”

Anand held back his tears and continued while Vidya bit her lips and kept the coffee aside.

“And now after all these years, you come back into my life, hurt, torn and shattered. I cursed the God above….your fate…..my fate, to have put us through all this. You were meant to be happy, forever. But what destiny has made you today is intolerable. All I want to do is bring back the happiness in to your life; if not by being your husband, at least by being a good friend.”

Anand paused for a moment and looked at Vidya. Her expressions were composed; her face didn’t give her heart away. Anand continued “This confession today is not a proposal Vidya. I know its tough for you to get over Venkat so soon and accept me as a part of your family. I completely understand the uneasiness I am putting you through by telling you all this, but I can’t hide my face any longer with the mask of a friend, knowing that deep in my heart I love you.”
“I will always love you. If you feel you can’t handle it, then I would gladly move away from you. I wouldn’t ever trouble you. I will live the way, I have been living till now. Only difference would be, now Sindhuja will be a part of my memories too.”

Anand rubbed the tear off his cheek and looked at Vidya whose eyes were brimming with tears too. She looked weakly at Anand. She couldn’t decide if she was angry or sad. The open confession had left her completely helpless.

“Anand…I…….I don’t know what to say. I had no idea what you had for me was more than just a friendly affection. If life has been unfair to me, your destiny hasn’t been good to you either. You deserve a happy life Anand, not just a life with memories and the yearning for love that you may never get. ” said Vidya and looked away.

She continued after a pause. “You make me happy, you make Sindhu happy. After all these years, seeing Sindhu genuinely happy has been refreshing. I have never seen her get close with any man, be it her Uncle or any of my other friends. She longed only for her dad, his touch, his talks, but with you, she is so comfortable that left me astonished many times. I like you Anand, I really do. You are such a wonderful friend to me. But I don’t know if I can ever love you. Venkat is deep etched in my heart; it isn’t easy for me to accept someone else as my husband.”

Anand sat there looking at Vidya, wishing that she wouldn’t ask him to go away. He wouldn’t be able to bear the loss one more time. Anand had come here to tell Vidya that he loved her, foolishly unprepared for the inevitable. He had poured his heart out. He was glad he had, but wished he hadn’t. He wanted to stay with Vidya and Sindhuja, and make them happy, see them happy. He nervously sat there waiting for Vidya to continue.

Vidya looked at Anand and she had never seen him look more agonised. Vidya struggled to calm down the turbulence of emotions within her. She wanted to comfort Anand and tell him that all would be fine. But she wasn’t herself sure, if it would be. Her heart hurt to see him crumble like this under the weight of his own emotions.

There were a thousand questions running in her mind. Many a times, during the past few days, she had wondered if it’s acceptable for her to feel happy when Anand was around. She couldn’t understand the new sense of contentment that had evolved into her since Anand had stepped into her life. And now knowing that Anand loves her, she didn’t know if she should continue being his friend or just ask him to go. If she had any feelings towards Anand; she didn’t want to deal with them then. She wasn’t yet ready to forget Venkat and start a new life. She didn’t know if she would ever be ready at all.

She decided to keep away the uneasiness and the questions aside and did what she thought was best, if not for both of them, at least for Sindhu.

“Anand….I…..I….. don’t want you to walk off from our lives. Please stay!”

Nothing else would have delighted Anand than hearing Vidya say those words. Anand wanted to jump in joy and shout Yaaahhhoooo, but decided against it, knowing that would only make him look like a fool and replied “Well I will stay …...But….….On one condition, you and Sindhu take a trip with me to Isle of White during the next weekend.” said Anand with a grin.

“Now what’s that?”

“Oh you will love it! It’s just a small island, not very far from here.”

“Alright!” said Vidya after a thought.

“Ok, so we leave on Saturday morning around eight and should be back by Sunday night. I will make all the arrangements!" Said Anand and got up to leave.

“Anand…” Vidya called out his name.

“Yes Vidya?”

“Thank you.” She said approaching him.

“Stay happy!” said Anand, rubbing his hand over her hair and left.

To be Continued tomorrow...............