Jan 31, 2009

January 2009

And then the FIGHT STARTED...

*And then the fight started....*


1. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station....



And then the fight started.... ****



2. My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have
sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I
said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."



And then the fight started... ****



3. Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the
truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the
weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible"
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe
my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"



And that's how the fight started ... ****



4. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right
after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"



And then the fight started..... ****



5. I rear-ended a car this morning So,there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you
just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,
"I AM NOT HAPPY!!!" So, I looked down at him and
said, "Well, then which one are you?"



And then the fight started..... ****



6. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about
the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself."



And then the fight started..... ****



7. A woman is standing, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment." The husband replies,
"Your eyesight's darn near perfect."



And then the fight started.....
January 2009

A story of friendship - worth reading

Let's see if you send it back. We all know or knew someone like this!!
One day, when I was a freshman in high school,


I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.



His name was Kyle.






It looked like he was carrying all of his books.






I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?






He must really be a nerd.'






I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.






As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.






They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.






His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him...






He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes






My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.






As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.'











They really should get lives.






' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'






There was a big smile on his face.






It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.






I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.






As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before..






He said he had gone to private school before now.






I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.






We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.






He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.






I asked him if he wanted to play a little football

with my friends






He said yes.






We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him..






Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.






I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!






' He just laughed and handed me half the books.






Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..






When we were seniors we began to think about college.






Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.






I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never





be a problem.






He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship..






Kyle was valedictorian of our class.






I teased him all the time about being a nerd.






He had to prepare a speech for graduation.






I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak






Graduation day, I saw Kyle.






He looked great.






He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.






He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.






He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.






Boy, sometimes I was jealous!





Today was one of those days.






I could see that he was nervous about his speech..






So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!'






He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.






' Thanks,' he said.






As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began






'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.






Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends....






I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.






I am going to tell you a story.'






I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the

first day we met.






He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.






He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.






He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.






'Thankfully, I was saved.






My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..'






I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.






I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.






Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.






Never underestimate the power of your actions..






With one small gesture you can change a person's life.






For better or for worse.






God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.






Look for God in others.

Pass this on to your friends or

Delete it and act like it

didn't touch your
heart.








'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.'






There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history.






Tomorrow is a mystery.






Today is a gift.

January 2009

This is beautiful! Try not to cry.

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: 'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?'




The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.'



Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'






The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'






Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.






The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mum, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mum. 'She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.'






Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.






The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room...






She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She lay down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.






It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said
:







'Dear Mum,







I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say
'I Love You'. I will always love you, Mum, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.






Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mum? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mum? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give ! you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him where was He when I needed him?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.





Oh, by the way, Mum, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.



Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore the cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?





Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.





(Let's see Satan stop this one.) Take 60 seconds and repost this, within the hour, you will have caused a multitude of believers to pray to God for each other. Then sit back and feel the Holy Spirit work in your life for doing what you know God loves 'When you're down to nothing, God is up to something.'

January 2009

School Days

[]

Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student:
'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher:
'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student:
'My name is Sunlight .

[]

Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student:
'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher:
'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student:
'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."

[]

Teacher:
What happened in 1869?
Student:
Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher:
What happened in 1873?
Student:
Gandhiji was four years old.

[]

Question:
What is the full form of maths.
Answer:
Mentally affected teachers harassing students

[]

Teacher:
Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student:
BROTHERLY LOVE

[]

Teacher:
Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:
A holiday

[]

Teacher:
Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher:
Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!


[]

Teacher:
'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'


[]

Teacher:
How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.

Teacher:
How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)


[]



Teacher:
There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student:
32 yrs.
Teacher:
How do you know?
Student:
Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

[]
January 2009

A nice perspective of lay offs

Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Ruling Party XYZ Said.. "Someone may steal from it at night."

So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"


So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. OK.


"How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"


So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..


"How are these people going to get paid?"


So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.., "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"


So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."


So they lay off the night watchman
J
January 2009

FUEL FOR LIVING - PART II

“Hi Uncle!” Sindhuja opened the door as soon as Anand rung the bell.

“Hi baby! Between us, can you call me Anand? You make me feel very old!” Anand suggested.

“No way! Mom would kill me if I do that! Can I call you Buddy? Or mate? That sounds better doesn’t it?” Sindhuja suggested with a wink.

“It certainly does. Thanks honey!” Anand said and handed over the chocolates to her.

“Thanks buddy!” Sindhuja said and closed the door as Anand entered the house and took a seat. He could hear clinking noise from the kitchen and guessed that Vidya might be working. She came out in a few seconds wiping her hands over her apron. Anand handed over the bouquet to her.

“Hello!” said Vidya “Thanks for the roses; they are lovely”

“Where is Venkat? Or is it that only you have come onsite for some project as most of the females do today?” Anand asked curiously.

“Sindhu darling can you please clear up your room while I make dinner and have a chat with Anand.” Vidya suggested and Sindhuja nodding her head ran to her room.

“You mind coming into the kitchen? We’ll talk as I cook!” Vidya said and moved into the kitchen as Anand followed.

Anand watched as Vidya started to wash the dishes. She hesitated for a second and looked at Anand, as she spoke.

“I don’t know how it never reached you, but Venkat expired two years back. He was killed in a car accident. We were in Pune then. It was such a huge tragedy for all of us.” Vidya said and her voice shook.

He couldn’t believe what he had heard. Such mishaps happen in movies, in novels, not in real lives. The news clouded his senses and for a second, his head spun. This couldn’t have happened, shouldn’t have, he said to himself! He had stayed away from her believing, hoping that she would be happy. But she hadn’t been. Instead she was torn and hurt. The thought of the torment that Vidya was going through made Anand’s heart bleed. The loss of his friend burdened him and emotions choked his throat, but more than anything it was the misfortune that had befallen his lady love that made him shudder.

Gathering his guts and controlling his emotions, Anand stood up and went near Vidya. He put his hands on her shoulders and said “I am so sorry Vidya! Venkat was a nice man. I am so sorry you had to go through all of this. ”

“Thanks Anand. It was just meant to be this way, I suppose...

Turning sternly towards Vidya, Anand blurted out in a trembling voice, "No, no Vidya... it shouldn't be this way. You were supposed to be happy for life. Not this... you shouldn't be experiencing such a painful loss". As soon as he had finished, Anand lowered his head so that Vidya wouldn't notice the tears welling up in his eyes.

Vidya remembered Anand as a self assured Senior who had a reputation among his peers as someone who had dogged control over his emotions even during the most volatile situations. Vidya was surprised to sense the outburst of emotions inside Anand. She had never seen him so vulnerable during their college days.

Hoping to kill the long uncomfortable silence that followed, Vidya continued, "..His parents are extremely loving and caring. They objected when I wanted to come here, but I thought this would serve as a good change for me and Sindhuja, so I decided to accept the onsite deputation for two years.”

“Does Sindhuja realize that…her…dad….is no more?” Anand asked without looking at Vidya still fighting his emotions.

“She realizes that an important person from her life is missing, sometimes asks me about him and I tell her, as every mother in my position would, that he has gone to the heaven and is happy there. She at times cries over it and sometimes cribs. She surely longs for the fatherly affection that Venkat was never tired of giving her. But she is most of the times too busy and keeps herself happy and content with whatever she has. Just like me, I should say.” Vidya said and got back to her work.

Finally, getting control over his emotions, Anand looked at Vidya. He saw the pretty, innocent, affable and shy girl from the past. “And how are you coping up Vidya?” Anand asked her.

There was a brief silence before Vidya cleared her throat and replied “I miss him, very much. It’s Sindhuja who has made the pain bearable. But for her, I might just be a piece of wreck by now.” Vidya said.

“Yeah she is such a sweetheart, can make anyone around her happy. Kids are always good at that but she has got a special energy and charisma, I suppose.” Anand said smiling.

Vidya smiled and asked “So tell me what you have been doing all these years? Married? Or are you still single?”

Anand smiled “I finished my MBA in India and came abroad some four years back and am settled here since then. And no, I am not married, Vidya.”

“Why not?!” asked Vidya surprised.

“Hah! It didn’t just occur to me” said Anand and smirked. He continued “And how about you Vidya? You can’t live like this forever! You surely need a partner!”

“Sindhuja is my partner, Anand! And I seriously don’t feel I can think of another marriage for now. I don’t want to! I am happy the way I am.”

“And who takes care of Sindhuja while you are at work?” Anand enquired as he got back to the chair and sat.

“My in laws will be joining me next month. Till then Sindhuja will stay at her Nanny’s place after her school hours. I drop Sindhu at school in the morning and her Nanny picks her up from there by 2 when her school gets over, and keeps her till 8 in the night. I usually pick up Sindhu by 5 or 6. ”

“If at times you get late, let me know, I’ll take care of Sindhu! I’ll leave my number with you.”

“Oh sure!” replied Vidya wiping her hands and taking the chair beside Anand.

“Mommy, can I come in there now? I am all done with the cleaning job!” Sindhuja said appearing at the door.

“Sure baby, come in!” Anand answered and Sindhuja hopped on to Anand’s lap.
------

The dinner was simple and delicious. When they were having desserts, Anand asked Vidya “Tomorrow is Sunday. How would you and Sindhuja like to come with me to the Colchester Zoo? I am sure Sindhu will love it!”

Vidya reluctantly looked at Anand and Sindhu.

“Mom please, let’s go! I want to see the animals, especially monkeys, since granny says they are our ancestors!”

“Alright!”

“So, I’ll pick you up at ten.”

Rest of the evening went in planning for the day ahead; most of the talking was done by Sindhuja while the adults listened to her amidst chuckles and giggles.
January 2009

FUEL FOR LIVING Part I

Acknowledgements:
I would like to thank Anandkumar (Anandkumar_S@infosys.com), who shared with me the story line, and was kind enough to review my story every now and then. But for his precious comments, alterations and suggestions, my story wouldn’t be half-as-good. This story is as much his, as it’s mine. Thanks Anand!

Note:
The story is purely fictional influenced by some real life incidents J

PART 1
It was a weekend and Anand was driving to the Afro-Asian shop to buy some ‘ready to eat’ meals. It was almost 4 years since he had come to London and had got settled here for good. His work as an executive in one of the leading pharmaceutical industries in UK gave him enormous job satisfaction and a handsome pay. He missed India and his family but he knew being away was inevitable. He definitely didn’t want to get married and that’s what his parents expected him to do as soon as he got back.

Anand parked his vehicle and made his way to the departmental store. He picked up a few side dishes, parathas, and some eatables; waited in the queue to shell out the amount for his purchase. He sensed a movement beneath his legs and glanced down to find a cute round-faced girl of about 4yrs old making her way to front of the queue.

“Hey young lady! You can’t just pass me and pay the bill. You have to wait behind me in the queue.” He said to her mischievously.

“Oh, well I thought ladies are always served first!” she said shrugging her shoulders.

He stooped a little and whispered in her ears

“The rule applies when passing through a door or even when boarding a bus but not definitely at the queue for billing.” He said.

“Oh, alright! My name is Sindhuja and yours?” she said extending her hand for a shake.

“I am Anand. Pleased to meet you pretty girl.” He said taking her small hands into his.
“I know! Between us, can you get me the play-and-eat toy at the shelf over there?” She said pointing to a shelf above the billing counter. “That was where I was getting to. But it’s too high for me! Please!” She asked with pleading eyes.

“Sure! I’ll do that. But you what do I get in return?” he asked.

“Will kisses and hugs do? Mom says there’s no better way to repay a help.” she asked with hopeful smile.

Anand couldn’t help smiling. He reached for the toy and handed it to Sindhuja. She hugged and kissed him with such warmth that made his heart melt.

“Don’t tell mom that I hugged and kissed you, ok? She says I shouldn’t get close to strangers!”

“But I am not a stranger! We are friends; we know each other’s names!”

“That makes us only half-friends. To become full-friends we should play together, fight with each other, eat together and even dress up my Barbie doll every weekend.” Sindhuja told him.

“Sindhujaaa!” called out a stern voice and as Anand looked up, he saw the one whom he had wished to never see again in his life.

“Oops, I am sorry! I know I should have waited for you but every kid seemed to be going for it and I didn’t want to end up with nothing.” said Sindhuja to her mother who was now staring at Anand.

“Vidya?!!” Anand said holding back his emotions.

“Anand!! Oh my God…Been so many years! How are you?”

“I am fine Vidya! How are you? And how is Venkat?” Anand queried her.

Before Vidya could answer, “Excuse me!” called out the lady at the billing counter and Anand began to line up his items on the desk.

“Hey Anand, come over to my place sometime in the evening and we’ll have a chat. This is my address. This is no place to make such personal enquiries” She said with a smile and handed over a piece of paper over to him after writing down her address on it.

Vidya turned to Sindhuja and said “Baby, you got me really worried! Next time you wander away like this, you will be grounded for a week, ok?”

“Ok mom! I am sorry. I am going to be a good girl from now on! By the way how do you know Anand Uncle?” Sindhuja asked curiously.

“We know each other since our college days dear; we are friends.” Vidya said with a smile and looked at Anand who was paying the bill now.

“Shall I give you a lift home? Or do you have a car?” Anand asked once Vidya had paid her bill.

“No Anand, its ok! We’ll take the bus; it stops right beside our house.” Said Vidya and put the groceries into her bag. “No big deal! See you!” she finished, took Sindhuja’s hand and started to leave.

“Bye Anand Uncle. Take Care” said Sindhuja and waved at Anand as he waved back.

------

Anand got back home, dumped the eatables in the fridge and stretched out on the couch. He closed his eyes and rubbed his fingers over them; his heart felt heavy, he was down in the dumps once again. Without a warning, the past came flooding back to his memories. The past that, he hadn’t shared with anyone, but himself. The past that, he knew, his mind would never forget. The past that was deep etched into his heart. The past, in which, they used to sit in the canteen and talk for hours. The past, filled with moments that he held close to his heart. The past, in which, he used to wait for her after the classes. The past that, he realized would always be the best part of his life.

------

Not knowing even her name he had fallen in love with her, the moment he saw her. He was in his third year then, while she had just joined the first year. He had become her friend, and being from the same department helped her with the notes, question papers, lab exercises and everything he could think of. He wanted her to be happy and comfortable. He never let any senior rag her; he protected her from anything he thought that would harm her.

Anand knew Vidya thought of him as a good friend. He decided he would propose her when the right time comes. He loved her with all his heart and soul and wanted to spend his every second with her. If this was love, he thought, I never want to stop loving. And he never did.

Somewhere down the line, one of his friends Venkat had proposed Vidya even before Anand could realize what was happening. And Vidya had accepted his proposal. From friends, Venkat and Vidya had become lovers; and Anand’s world was devastated. He saw the love of his life becoming some one else’s love. It took him weeks to compose himself and face Vidya again.

Anand often asked himself, if he had proposed Vidya before Venkat did, would she have accepted? Could he fall in love with any other girl in the future? Could he take anyone but Vidya as his wife? He never got the answers. For all he knew he lived with her memories and his love for her.

As days rolled on, Anand realized he would never be able to stop loving Vidya. He distanced himself from her and gradually lost touch. He heard from his friends that Venkat and Vidya had got happily married and after that chose to live in seclusion, away from his family and friends.

-----

Seeing Vidya after almost eight years at the store, he felt emotions storming inside him. He knew this wasn’t right. She was a mother now; a happily married woman. He had to get away from her again. He would look for job else where and shift as soon as possible. He decided to suppress his emotions and feelings until then; and play the good friend role.

He sat on the couch and started to prepare himself for the evening that lay ahead of him. He decided to stay only for a few minutes and return home. It would be rude if he didn’t go. After all, both Venkat and Vidya were his friends. And so was Sindhuja, he thought with a smile. She was the second woman he had fallen in love with, even without knowing her name, he thought.

He grabbed a few bites and sat to work on his laptop to finish off some left over tasks. As time ticked by he got more and more nervous. His love for Vidya had suddenly overwhelmed him and his longing for her had multiplied. He hoped; seeing Venkat and Vidya together will put his emotions to rest. He dressed up in casuals; entered the pin code of the address that Vidya had given him in his car navigator and followed its directions. On the way he stopped to buy a bouquet of roses and chocolates. He parked his car in front of her house and walked to the door.
January 2009

Other Side

"A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again. He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map.

When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, 'Oh… Dad, there is a man's face on the other side of the paper. I made the face perfect to get the map right."" she ran outside to play leaving the father surprised."

Friends, There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. This story indirectly teaches a lesson. That is, whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side...You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem...

Jan 25, 2009

January 2009

A View about Life

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.


Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it." Don't let the cups drive you... Enjoy the coffee instead

Jan 20, 2009

January 2009

Expectations are too high

It was professor smith's first day at St. Johns medical college as a faculty. Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of 1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class. He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said, "Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original size when excited?"
Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female. I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye".
The professor applauded for the boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said: "look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) You have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!

Jan 18, 2009

January 2009

Nice Thoughts #16

January 2009

Yesterday once more

One of the cutest .....

Grandpa and Grandma always got very excited when they recalled the old days they were together. They made a decision, one day to make it "yesterday once more".
They made a date on the riverbank they used to go when they were young. The next day, Grandpa got up 6 a.m. in the morning, dashed to the bank, picked up a big bunch of wild flowers before sunrise, waited there for his sweetheart to come. But grandpa ended in disappointment grandma never showed up even after sunset.

Grandpa went home in such anger. He opened the door, seeing grandma lying on the sofa with her pillow. He threw the flowers on the floor and
questioned: "Why didn't you come to our date?"

Grandma hid her head in the pillow and replied shyly:
"Mom didn't allow me to go.........
January 2009

Best Short Story

There was a contest in a company to write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line "On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Bangalore station "

This is what a guy wrote for the contest....... and surprisingly, it was adjudged the best short story :))

On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Bangalore station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer. I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.

While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter... hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!!! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind......... splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "wake up man? Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".

January 2009

Plan B

A pretty woman was serving a life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls.

When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut.

Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.


The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it.

The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast. She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails.

Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom.

The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud.

Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free! Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her.

To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker.

Many people believe they have life all figured out..... but sometimes it just doesn't turn out the way they planned it.

Think of a 'Plan B' !
January 2009

NEVER, EVER BE LATE

One of those occasions when the saying 'better late than never' does not hold good!!



Retirement Dinner


A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner.
The politician was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife and taken illegal drugs. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.
. ..... '

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.'

Moral: NEVER, EVER BE LATE ! ! !

January 2009

Nice Thoughts #15

January 2009

Nice Thoughts #14


One fine day, all of us will get busy with our lives...
Long working hrs... No chats...
Even won̢۪t have time 4 ourselves...
On such a day, I'll look outside our window, n see d good old memories flashing by...
With a smile on my face, n a tear in my eye...
I'll turn back 2 my work, thinking, "I wish I cud go back..."
Big thanks for those pals, who helped me, to create such memories...

January 2009

Reduce Weight ???????

One fat guy -
One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying

"
If you catch me, I'm yours."











He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg. He's back on the street and starts to think. "Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..." So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg." "No problem," says the manager. Again he is led to the large gym. Thzs time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.

"
If I catch you, you're mine."